WeGotMud

Off The Trail => Funny Pages => Jokes/Funny Pictures => Topic started by: Bigdaddy on October 06, 2010, 04:29:46 PM

Title: The Man Rules
Post by: Bigdaddy on October 06, 2010, 04:29:46 PM
The Man Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down   






 





Finally, the guy's side of the story.
( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear 'the rules'
From the female side 






 





  Now here are the rules from the male side.   






These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered '1 '
ON PURPOSE! 






 





1.   Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.


1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the  other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched..
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or motor sports


1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can -
to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can - 

to give them a bigger laugh.
Title: Re: The Man Rules
Post by: motersports3211 on October 06, 2010, 04:55:54 PM
i AGREE. 100 %
Title: Re: The Man Rules
Post by: 4xjeepfreak on October 14, 2010, 06:24:50 AM
this is so correct  applaudd thanks B.D finally its in black & white  ++peace
Title: Re: The Man Rules
Post by: Jjay78 on November 20, 2010, 07:07:57 AM
my wife IS going to read this, and yeah the couch isn't all that bad, .....i get to keep some blankets that way.......
Title: Re: The Man Rules
Post by: larry60 on November 21, 2010, 03:23:47 AM
 applaudd
Title: Re: The Man Rules
Post by: 97 gmcguy on December 02, 2010, 09:30:41 PM
very true lol
Title: Re: The Man Rules
Post by: roodawakening on December 31, 2010, 06:06:48 PM
 applaudd applaudd applaudd applaudd applaudd applaudd applaudd
Title: Re: The Man Rules
Post by: whskytango on December 31, 2010, 06:43:08 PM
 applaudd applaudd ++peace
Title: Re: The Man Rules
Post by: Wild One on January 01, 2011, 03:05:41 AM
I agrre with rule # 1
Title: Re: The Man Rules
Post by: Broncoholic on January 22, 2011, 04:32:40 PM
Quote from: Wild One on January 01, 2011, 03:05:41 AM
I agrre with rule # 1

#1 is my Favorite
Title: Re: The Man Rules
Post by: 78man on January 22, 2011, 04:37:42 PM
so, so true
Title: Re: The Man Rules
Post by: magic on January 22, 2011, 05:38:31 PM
Quote from: Wild One on January 01, 2011, 03:05:41 AM
I agrre with rule # 1

x2 :)
Title: Re: The Man Rules
Post by: Colorado on January 26, 2011, 08:39:13 PM
#'s 1, 1 and um....1 I think are good.
Title: Re: The Man Rules
Post by: bogger564 on February 07, 2011, 03:34:48 AM
my favorite rule is #1 loll
Title: Re: The Man Rules
Post by: Proud and Powerful on February 07, 2011, 05:07:11 AM
Quote from: whskytango on December 31, 2010, 06:43:08 PM
applaudd applaudd ++peace
x2
Title: Re: The Man Rules
Post by: KORNBREAD on February 09, 2011, 01:43:06 PM
Quote from: 4xjeepfreak on October 14, 2010, 06:24:50 AM
this is so correct  applaudd thanks B.D finally its in black & white  ++peace
Title: Re: The Man Rules
Post by: Blue on February 09, 2011, 04:04:45 PM
Quote from: larry60 on November 21, 2010, 03:23:47 AM
applaudd
Title: Re: The Man Rules
Post by: 85cHeavyMetalBogger on November 10, 2011, 12:26:34 AM
Quote from: 4xjeepfreak on October 14, 2010, 06:24:50 AM
this is so correct  applaudd thanks B.D finally its in black & white  ++peace
Title: Re: The Man Rules
Post by: gator82 on December 05, 2011, 12:11:42 AM
Quote from: Wild One on January 01, 2011, 03:05:41 AM
I agree with rule # 1

I read it to my wife and her response " OK, it just goes to show men are assholes"......guess she's the one on the couch tonight loll