Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag
of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder
Dog, and was in the checkout line when a woman behind me asked
if I had a dog.
What did she think I had, an elephant?
So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impuls I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting
the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't,
because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd
lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward
with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both
arms.
I told her that although it is rather bland, it was essentially
a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your
pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every
time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete
so it works well and I was going to try it again.. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line
was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked
if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned
me.
I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's
ass and a car hit both of us.
thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack
he was laughing so hard.
Costco won't let me shop there anymore.
???
==ha
hahahahahahahaha