ok first let me say i am the father in this situation ..my daughter has been dating this boy for my sake i will call him dumbass all he wants to do is party and play video games and all they do is fight they have broken up several times but keep getting back together and they r currently broke up she is in college studying law and she comes home often (which i fund ) and when she does comes home she spends all her time with him as JUST FRIENDS ? AS A MAN BEING JUST FRIENDS TYPICALY DOESNT WORK WITH YOUR EX .....AM I WRONG WHAT SHOULD I SAY IF ANYTHING ? I DONT WANT TO HER TO GO THRU THE SAME CRAP CRYING,DEPRESSION,MOPING AROUND the last break up was hard had law involved and a lot of other drama o yeah i forgot to mention he drinks everyweekend ............SHE HAS LET HIM GO AND NOW IS DATING A FELLOW STUDENT WHO ALSO IS STUDYING LAW ENFORCEMENT THIS NEW KID SEEMS TO HAVE HIS p00 TOGETHER ... ITS EARLY BUT SO FAR HE SEEMS TO BE A STEP IN RIGHT DIRECTION ONLY TIME WILL TELL
that's a tough one man, probably best thing you can do is just remind her of how much of a jerk the guy is and how he'll just destroy her future and all the work she's doing in school....
From a younger guys perspective id say just try talking to her like jay said about her future and if she really wants to hang out with a low life that has nothing going for him.. I mean at that age just from hanging out with people like him lowers their standards on making a successful life..I mean one minute she could be hard working at school and a fight could make her want to give up.. the best way to talk to her to would be by trying to make it a funny but serous conversation.. that's about all I got right now goodluck to ya
I would have to agree with jjay78.. Let her know there are better men out there..
Bubba,
I am in a similar situation. I have a 21 y/o daughter who works full time and is studying occupational therapy. She left her first (and 6 year, long term) boyfriend for a turd who's 38. These two have been on and off for the last 6 months and she is on an emotional rollercoaster. This guy is no good for her and I know it. However, I also realize that if I try to come in between them, I will only drive her closer. I know this because my parents made that mistake with me and my first marriage wound up going bust because I couldn't see the forest through the trees. Just stand back and let her figure things out. She'll make the right decision eventually...especially if she's smart enough to be in law school. My daughter asks my opinion and I'll give it to her but I tell her that's only my opinion and that she's an adult now and ultimately the decisions rest with her. Good luck, buddy!
Later,
Al
PS. If she says they're just friends...they're probably more. Sorry.
Find another guy you like that she might be interested in and invite him over when she is home and he's not around. Worth a shot.
Quote from: Chevy Racer on February 05, 2012, 02:50:14 PM
Find another guy you like that she might be interested in and invite him over when she is home and he's not around. Worth a shot.
x2 that's not a bad idea
Quote from: Jjay78 on February 06, 2012, 03:13:51 AM
Quote from: Chevy Racer on February 05, 2012, 02:50:14 PM
Find another guy you like that she might be interested in and invite him over when she is home and he's not around. Worth a shot.
x2 that's not a bad idea
i told her he doesnt just want to be friends if they keep texting and going to movies dancin when shes home he thinks he still has a chance and when i said u probably should cut ties 100% and go separates ways she got mad i could have handled it better but i think in her heart she knows im right and hopefully she will get over being mad at me i did it because i love her and dont want to see her hurt again by this piece of sh#23@#
good luck my friend, patience is gonna be difficult, but she's gotta see the light hopefully it's just not to late...
Quote from: Jjay78 on February 06, 2012, 03:13:51 AM
Quote from: Chevy Racer on February 05, 2012, 02:50:14 PM
Find another guy you like that she might be interested in and invite him over when she is home and he's not around. Worth a shot.
x2 that's not a bad idea
x3 yup and then you conveniently disappear loll
Whatever you do, support her, I knew my ex was no good for me but didn't want to hear it.
Tuff love sucks.. but its' effective..
your footing the bill for her to come home.. put your foot down and let her know that if she would like you to continue this she cannot see him, if she insists..
let her pay her own way home. let her know how you really feel about this guy.
if the law has already been called.. she's on both sides of the coin..
can't do well in law school.. when you have a police record.. that's an oxy moron!!
who's footin the bill for college ???
Quote from: Hammerlane on February 08, 2012, 05:11:21 PM
Tuff love sucks.. but its' effective..
your footing the bill for her to come home.. put your foot down and let her know that if she would like you to continue this she cannot see him, if she insists..
let her pay her own way home. let her know how you really feel about this guy.
if the law has already been called.. she's on both sides of the coin..
can't do well in law school.. when you have a police record.. that's an oxy moron!!
who's footin the bill for college ???
Quote from: BUDGETBOGGER03 on February 08, 2012, 06:35:21 PM
Quote from: Hammerlane on February 08, 2012, 05:11:21 PM
Tuff love sucks.. but its' effective..
your footing the bill for her to come home.. put your foot down and let her know that if she would like you to continue this she cannot see him, if she insists..
let her pay her own way home. let her know how you really feel about this guy.
if the law has already been called.. she's on both sides of the coin..
can't do well in law school.. when you have a police record.. that's an oxy moron!!
who's footin the bill for college ???
im footin bill for her 18,000+ a year for 6 years
I know a guy that knows a guy that will help resolve the problem...jk...
I am 23 and I went through the whole break up/get back together with an a**hole routine over and over with my ex when I was younger. All you can do really is keep being there for her and reminding her how special she is to you and that some other guy will realize how special she is even if that jerk can't. I know my parents and my friends all saw how horrible my ex was but because I was so "in love" I didn't see it. I finally grew up and got tired of his crap and that's when it finally ended. It might take her finally getting to her breaking point with him before she will kick him to the curb, but eventually she will. Just keep encouraging her to see him for who he really is... She will make the right decision with time.
Quote from: bubba on February 08, 2012, 10:00:43 PM
Quote from: BUDGETBOGGER03 on February 08, 2012, 06:35:21 PM
Quote from: Hammerlane on February 08, 2012, 05:11:21 PM
Tuff love sucks.. but its' effective..
your footing the bill for her to come home.. put your foot down and let her know that if she would like you to continue this she cannot see him, if she insists..
let her pay her own way home. let her know how you really feel about this guy.
if the law has already been called.. she's on both sides of the coin..
can't do well in law school.. when you have a police record.. that's an oxy moron!!
who's footin the bill for college ???
im footin bill for her 18,000+ a year for 6 years
Where I come from.. if daddy's footin the bill..
Daddy's makin the rules!
good luck.. tuff choices ahead for both of you...
Quote from: Hammerlane on February 08, 2012, 05:11:21 PM
Tuff love sucks.. but its' effective..
your footing the bill for her to come home.. put your foot down and let her know that if she would like you to continue this she cannot see him, if she insists..
let her pay her own way home. let her know how you really feel about this guy.
if the law has already been called.. she's on both sides of the coin..
can't do well in law school.. when you have a police record.. that's an oxy moron!!
who's footin the bill for college ???
thats my biggest fear with this guy she gets into trouble and finishes school and cant get a job because of law trouble
yea, high potential for that, just 1 call is all it takes depending on the direction taken in that field.
dont push to hard against her you dont want to alienate her hopfully she see it on her own and moves on i have three daughters and its hard to watch them make mistakes but they have to learn on their own nothing we can do about it good luck hopfully it will work out the way you like
well she is talking to me again so im hopin she woke up and realized i was right ??? ??? ???
Just curious "where" she goes to school at?......18,000 a year?........for that price I'll assume she stays on campus.
Did she ever check into Saginaw Valley State??......a lot closer.....and a hell of lot cheaper.
Quote from: 7387chevynut on February 12, 2012, 08:46:56 PM
Just curious "where" she goes to school at?......18,000 a year?........for that price I'll assume she stays on campus.
Did she ever check into Saginaw Valley State??......a lot closer.....and a hell of lot cheaper.
lake Superior state university its not the college so much its the amount of classes shes taking, a major with 4 minors and yes she lives on campus in a apartment which i pay rent and utilities
Sad to say I was the daughter who wouldn't listen. I pushed back when I was warned about the guy I was with, defended HIM instead of listening to the people who truly cared about me. My plans for my life, my credit, MY daughter's life......etc, are still screwed up from the bad choices I made when I was that age. I got a good degree, make respectable money....and because of bad choices, I have NOTHING to show for it.
The only good thing about all of it (I guess) is at least my daughter has seen what not to do as far as relationships go. I guess, if it helps her, and maybe your daughter.......
The most important advice I can give either of them is this......people are always on their best behavior when they are dating. If you are arguing and having problems at that stage.......GET OUT!!!!! If you don't see eye to eye when things are "good". How do you ever think you will make it when things actually get BAD.
and......no matter what you think......don't fool around with somebody you're not serious about! Like it or not, birth control doesn't always work, and if it doesn't......Do you really want to spend the rest of your life sharing a child with someone you wouldn't leave a dead cat with? Trust me, the system will not protect you. He can show up drunk and high, and if you refuse to let him take your child with him.......you are the one who gets in trouble.
Done ranting.....didn't mean to......I just hate to see anyone make mistakes like mine.
Good Luck!
Quote from: Hammerlane on February 08, 2012, 05:11:21 PM
Tuff love sucks.. but its' effective..
your footing the bill for her to come home.. put your foot down and let her know that if she would like you to continue this she cannot see him, if she insists..
let her pay her own way home. let her know how you really feel about this guy.
if the law has already been called.. she's on both sides of the coin..
can't do well in law school.. when you have a police record.. that's an oxy moron!!
who's footin the bill for college ???
My dad was really hard on me and my sister growing up, we made a lot of mistakes with the wrong ppl but sometimes you have to make those decisions to learn from them...
Quote from: CamoCowgirl8686 on April 07, 2012, 04:52:19 AM
My dad was really hard on me and my sister growing up, we made a lot of mistakes with the wrong ppl but sometimes you have to make those decisions to learn from them...
i agree!! but certain mistakes Can end any thought of her career in D.E.A, FBI OR HER FIRST CHOICE HOMELAND SECURITY