an old irish guy finds out he has roughly a week to live so him and his son go to the local pub. while there, he announces to his pals 'gentleman, i recently found out i have aids, and only a short time left with you, so lets drink for old times'
on the way home his son asks 'dad, why did you tell them it was aids you were dying from?'
to which he replied 'well son, i dont want them screwing your mother!'
==ha