Well seems like its in the air, I'm getting a divorce and so are a lot of other people I hear, in my case we were hichschool sweethearts, and also eachothers firsts, been together 8 years and I guess she decided she was bored because she cheated on me then left, still don't make no sence, but o well I guess, its been 3 almost 4 months and couldn't be happier, we have both moved on, but my BIGGEST Issue is our daughter, my soon to be ex wife lives with her sister that rents a 3 bedroom house and lives with 4 adults and shares her room with another girl, so, my daughter doesn't have her own room, nor her own space really, bunch of different people in and out constantly, my daughter is 3 yrs old, she has no reason to lie about p00, she tells me everything she does when she's at moms, and my 3rd old is smart, very well spoken, well some p00 a 3 yearold let alone a 12 yr old shouldn't know about comes out of her mouth, so dad comes out and speeks up to her mother and all I get out of her mother is she's 3 she don't know what she's talking about, she must think I'm just plain dumb or somthing, my point is I know I can't control what goes on at her mtohers, but I feel that if I get full custody which me having a 4 bdrm house and her having her own room, and more than able to provide for her and her mother, not even having a room to herself, would not beable to comply as "fit" for her, my ex thinks that she missed out on being a teenager and partying and sleeping with 3 guys a week, well yeah she did, but she also is the one who lied to me and got pregnant, and the one who wanted mariiage and the one who wanted everything, so I gave it to her, and after everything all I have done she left me high and dry and 10k in debt. But ANYWAYS what do you guys think I should do? Get full custody so I can control what goes on? Because I see they p00 she posts on face book, and I hope she isn't doing it around my daughter, p00 since she left she barly even wants to spend time with her, its like Nova is a huge inconveiniance to her and gets in the way of her getting high and drinking with abunch of loosers, enough ranting, just need to vent a little, just wondering what you guys would do if you were in my shoes, and also wondering how many of you have full custody of your kid/kids
cant help your situation but i feel your pain.
its been about 5 months here. almost the exact same scenario. other than we were married 15 years. together most of our
lives. luckily my sons are 15-18-21 my youngest stayed with her. my 18 year old did at first but just moved back with me,
and my 21 year old decided to get an apartment and get out on his own. its a byTch. be glad it happened now. not when
your 37 and trying to figure out everything on your own. mine handled all the bills and house stuff. im like a fricken teenager
with my first checking account.
on an upside...... i now have a skinny redhead to chase around the house..... ;D takes some of the sting out of the situation LOL
Go file for temporary full custody!!! Based on the environment and sleeping arrangement's.. Then when the final court date comes around it will show the courts that you are willing to fight for your child. And that you are able to put a roof over her head and provide for her... The courts take the sleeping arrangement thing very seriously.. More so in your case considering that the house is shared by several adults.. Personally I would go to the court house first thing Monday!! Explain that she doesn't have her own room and the conditions.. Just tell them you feel uncomfortable with the situation that she is in.. And that it would be better for her to be back where she has always known to be her home... All of this is from experience! I went through the same thing
Sorry to hear this, ole buddy!! I know you got a good head on your shoulders so do what you feel is right in your heart. Get your baby back home and find you a SOBER hottie to fill in the void, one that will appreciate what you do for her and SHOW it on a daily basis!! There's a whole bunch of real nice girls out there that would jump at the chance, I'm pretty sure! You're gonna be just fine! ;D
Quote from: Rosco on December 01, 2012, 01:26:49 PM
Go file for temporary full custody!!! Based on the environment and sleeping arrangement's.. Then when the final court date comes around it will show the courts that you are willing to fight for your child. And that you are able to put a roof over her head and provide for her... The courts take the sleeping arrangement thing very seriously.. More so in your case considering that the house is shared by several adults.. Personally I would go to the court house first thing Monday!! Explain that she doesn't have her own room and the conditions.. Just tell them you feel uncomfortable with the situation that she is in.. And that it would be better for her to be back where she has always known to be her home... All of this is from experience! I went through the same thing
X2
I also have a 3 yr old daughter and I believe pretty much everything that she says, she is in daycare a lot and will tell me everything that she did that day. If there ''bad stuff'' going on, which sounds like there is you need to do what is right for you child, just because your ex can't grow up and come to the realization that she needs to be a parent and now her whole world should revolve around the child that I s her problem, no child should be raised around that, I am only 24 and have a 3 and 2 yr old and one on the way, I personaly know how hard it is to raise kids at such a young age, I did miss out on my ''party'' phase a little well a lot loll but I wouldn't trade it for the world, so i do commend you, do what is right and best for the kid, even if it is hard on you. I am praying for you and hope it all works out for the best
I would just say .....
Man up and father your child , the best way ...." YOU " see fit .....Ex's ...courts.....custody...........Blah...blah ..." WORDS "
Just go enjoy the day with your doughter , file for the custody......have grandma ( Family ) baby sit while your at work .......
I'd bet your doughter would even prefer it that way ....given her current experiance with said " MOTHER "
and never look back ==doh...if doughter and " Mother " get together hear and there for visit's then so be it ...
You have to remember .......She's "your doughter " too applaudd
If you can find a way to document what is said on Facebook, use that to help your case
even if you just copy and paste . then print the Facebook stuff that will be a way to show that you kids not in a safe environment .
Chicks man! I would be in same situation as Damn Ford, I just hand over money, I don't know where it goes.
Burl I got a couple buddies with full custody of their kids, moms are into drugs and drinks. It's not as uncommon as it used to be for a dad. Just heard this...smooth seas never made a better sailor!
Idk what to tell you dude. I really should considering I grew up threw 5 divorces. If it was me I'd fight for custody and if it helps the case dont even ask for child support. They look at that as you are really doing it in the kids best interest.
As for me... Just party phasing it up :)
I might ask why you got married so young??? That is not something that is commonly done anymore, most kids who get married at 19/20 years old end up getting divorced within 5 years......or less.
Marriage is not what it used to be anymore. Unfortunately when children are mixed into it, it becomes very painful for them, and stressful for the parents dealing with divorce issues.
fight for your daughter it will be the best thing good luck!!
Quote from: damn_ford on December 01, 2012, 12:28:43 PM
cant help your situation but i feel your pain.
its been about 5 months here. almost the exact same scenario. other than we were married 15 years. together most of our
lives. luckily my sons are 15-18-21 my youngest stayed with her. my 18 year old did at first but just moved back with me,
and my 21 year old decided to get an apartment and get out on his own. its a byTch. be glad it happened now. not when
your 37 and trying to figure out everything on your own. mine handled all the bills and house stuff. im like a fricken teenager
with my first checking account.
on an upside...... i now have a skinny redhead to chase around the house..... ;D takes some of the sting out of the situation LOL
The funny thing is, this is exactly me, she paid all of the bills, I just handed her money, and I've got a skinney redhead too!
And as for brian, I am manning up, she is with me 99% of the time, and all of my family works, grandparents are gone and have been for years, my mom keeps telling me I need to loose my pride and go to dhs, f#$% that, ill do it on my own, I have been since day one, my baby will get what she needs
And marty I've already found her, she loves me and my baby and words cannot speak of how amazing of a person she is!
Quote from: burl on December 02, 2012, 02:49:59 PM
Quote from: damn_ford on December 01, 2012, 12:28:43 PM
cant help your situation but i feel your pain.
its been about 5 months here. almost the exact same scenario. other than we were married 15 years. together most of our
lives. luckily my sons are 15-18-21 my youngest stayed with her. my 18 year old did at first but just moved back with me,
and my 21 year old decided to get an apartment and get out on his own. its a byTch. be glad it happened now. not when
your 37 and trying to figure out everything on your own. mine handled all the bills and house stuff. im like a fricken teenager
with my first checking account.
on an upside...... i now have a skinny redhead to chase around the house..... ;D takes some of the sting out of the situation LOL
The funny thing is, this is exactly me, she paid all of the bills, I just handed her money, and I've got a skinney redhead too!
And as for brian, I am manning up, she is with me 99% of the time, and all of my family works, grandparents are gone and have been for years, my mom keeps telling me I need to loose my pride and go to dhs, f#$% that, ill do it on my own, I have been since day one, my baby will get what she needs
And marty I've already found her, she loves me and my baby and words cannot speak of how amazing of a person she is!
Sounds like things will work themselfs out just fine then ...
glad to hear it
Hard to raise child and hold down a day job.....ever think about switching to the night shift .....Be with child during the day ...( catch some sleep when you can ) and have family watch over your doughter at night ...while your earing a buck or 2 at the night shift
Or perhaps a stay at home job...like Crafts........ ( Have 1 friend who earns $40k a year painting Customized welcome signs in his basement and sells them through Better homes and gardens and flea markets all year round )
or stuffing envalopes ...I hear they dont pay that bad ( Know a dissabled Vet who earns alittle extra that way )
Just throwing other ideas out there for ya bro
Good luck , make this holiday season special
I work a late shift, 230pm till usually 1 am
sorry to hear about it. get a lawyer, I cant say that enough. get a lawyer. if you think you cant afford a lawyer your wrong you cant afford not to have a lawyer because EVERY court assumes the mother is the best parent PERIOD. get a lawyer ASAP.
x2 friend of the %&#@ / court lol do it now while she is still playing party and has so much against her lawyer up they take payments too. my folks were div. and ended up back together .
I been with my wife 20yrs married 10 yrs she handles everything here too.
Quote from: bigdawg41 on December 02, 2012, 03:40:28 PM
sorry to hear about it. get a lawyer, I cant say that enough. get a lawyer. if you think you cant afford a lawyer your wrong you cant afford not to have a lawyer because EVERY court assumes the mother is the best parent PERIOD. get a lawyer ASAP.
X2
Document everything you can about your ex. Document everything you can of you with your kid. Keep a log of everything that you do with your kid (time spent, doctors/dentist appointments, school, daycare, money spent on cloths, go to church, take as many pictures as you can of you with you kid, etc.)
From my experience with the FOC, you will have to proove to them that you are more "fit" as a parent, so you can't just tell them, you will have to show them proof. You will need proof of the issues with your kid and your ex's living situation, anything, and everything you can get.
document document document and in case i failed to mention it document everything ,i just helped my nephew get full custody of his son with similar circumstances and it took a long time ( almost a year) but he finally did it FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!!!!!!!!!!! good luck
File for full custody. She don't need to be in that environment. If it were YOU doing that, you know Dang well that she would be takin ur arse to court. Courts favor women, but the living arrangement itself will be enough to prove her unfit. If she wants to party it up with her kid there, she can deal with losing her. She can get over her "teenage" phase while you take care of nova. Your a great father I can tell that by just what I see on fb. (thought u might like a female opinion)