the 65 rules of mudding

[84silverado]

found it on the TGW forum, figured i'd share with everyone




What number(s) are you? Pass it on to your muddin' friends!

1. Never take your wife muddin' AND forget the toilet paper.
2. A taller lift and larger tires will temporarily lower the driver's IQ.
3. Always own more than one mud truck at a time.
4. All mud, no matter where it is in the world, smells like ass.
5. And the worse the mud smells, the greater the likelihood of you having to climb out and hook up a snatch rope.
6. Repeat after me....."Honey, if I can just get this one last part, the Truck will be done".
7. The truck is never "done". Anyone who says that theirs is, is lying.
8. Put it in 4WD before you think you need to. Don't be "that" guy.
9. Never attend a mudding event with the intention of just watching. It never works out.
10. A truck frame in the Northeast is rusted. I don't care how good it looks.
11. Just buy the 2.5 rocks and be done with it......life is too short for any axles that are smaller.
12. Set up your winch remote BEFORE you need it.....Dumbass!
13. Ignore the moron with the junkyard built truck who says that you never bogg.
14. The new 5 ton truck w/ 2000 HP on 35.5 will be a disappointment to the haters also.....get used to it.
15. Flip flops are suitable footwear for mudding. (You're gonna lose 'em any way when you get out to hook up that rope. Might as well be the cheap ones!)
16. Don't forget the bug spray.
17. "Oops" is not a word you want to hear from your mechanic, your Doctor or particularly, your rope byTch.
18. Yes, your truck is going to get scratched. If you have an aversion to this, stay home..... Better yet, buy a Honda.
19. One man's definition of a mud truck is not necessarily another's. Take a look at the person's truck for clarification.
20. "Extreme" depends on your point of view.
21. Stay far, far away from the "hold my beer and watch this" crowd.
22. Never mud alone. And never forget your snatch rope or winch remote in the barn........ever.
23. Never, ever spot for your wife or girlfriend.
24. Whatever tool you need, just stop looking now.....it's at home in the garage.
25. No, I will not hook the snatch rope for you. Your dumbass got stuck, you get out and hook it. I will stand behind a tree out of the line of fire.
26. If you enjoy standing in the rain, up to your knees in mud, getting eaten by mosquitoes the size of small birds, all the while tearing up hundred dollar bills, you're going to love mudding.
27. Have proper recovery points, because if it means me missing dinner, I will rip the front axle right out from under your truck.
28. When someone is decent enough to tell you that you can't make it through that mud hole (see #33), do yourself a favor and listen to them.
29. Windows and top up and AC on does not make you a . It makes you smarter than they are.
30. The primary uses of the CB radio are to heckle your friends and to decide where you're going to eat and drink after the run.
31. Turn the damned CB off when you go into the restaurant however so that I don't have to get my cables out to jump your rig.
32. Anyone with a programmable horn should never be allowed to wheel with you. (You know who you are)
33. Just remember when your "friends" are "encouraging" you, they all have their cameras out.
34. If you don't think it's a good idea, it probably isn't.
35. Never mud with Subarus.
36. Momentum can be your friend but speed almost never is.
37. Avoid people who think that money can buy talent.
38. If someone says, "just bounce it off the rev limiter", bounce something off their head.
39. Never discuss politics, religion or tires in polite company.
40. If the person in front of you does something stupid, you are under no obligation to make the same mistake.
41. Gas up BEFORE you arrive at the mud hole, because next time we're leaving your dumb ass.
42 Always check actual retail price of truck parts BEFORE you buy something on CL that looks like a good deal.
43. Be very selective about who you let rope byTch for you, VERY selective. That 18" drop ball hitch isn't a good snatch point.
44. Washing transfer case parts in the dishwasher is very effective. Just don't get caught.
45. Never make a bet that will cause you to have to wear a dress to the next mudding event if you lose.
46. When your wife tells you not to do something......don't. Women have a weird way of knowing things.
47. Never make banjo sounds where the indigenous population can hear you.
48. Get in, sit down, hold on and shut up.
49. Addendum to above. When I panic then you can.
50. Glazed donuts make great hamburger buns.
51. Gas prices rise along with the size of your truck.
52. Breakdowns are exponentially more expensive the bigger your trucks gets.
53. With very few exceptions, leave spares home. You're not going to have what you need anyway.
54. Exceptions include belts, hoses and u-joints.
55. Speed costs money. How slow do you want to go?
56. When mudding with a large group, always try to be near the front of the pack. Trust me.
57. When someone says, "trust me", run and hide.
58. One spotter at a time. The rest of y'all can STFU!
59. Self explanatory.
60. Life is too short to drink cheap beer or to mud with assholes.
61. After three unsuccessful snatches, use the winch.
62. Any more than that and the rest of us will encourage you to do something really stupid.
63. Wheel while you can because the vocal minority wants the keys to your truck.
64. No one will get a picture of you conquering the unconquerable, but screw up just this much and everybody gets it on film.
65. The camera never does justice to the terrain.

Print this, laminate it and store it in your glove box for future reference.

[Air Force Fireman]

This is outstanding. Love it. Thanks. 

[Big Mudder]

Just remembered a good one for that list.

never listen to the guy that asks "What's the worst that can happen?"

[marshall]

#26

[4x4xdodgeman]

I have done must all this and then more!!! I will keep repetting them until I die!!! its fun!!!    love the list!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[fordrunner]

Need to find an printer lol

[Uncle Steve]

This is outstanding. Love it. Thanks. 

[edmalead]

Nice list!! 

[mutt truck]

Good list, so much truth lol

[72 Bogger]

Sweet.

[ProGrade]

This is why we are all here!

[larry60]

 

[mike93vr4]

#26 is awesome

[Jjay78]

gotta love it... i've had to help the i forgot gas guy many many times.....eventually... i brought a 2.5 gallon can with me cuz somehow i just knew....